A couple nights ago, Jared and I spent some time in prayer before heading to bed. We haven’t prayed together, outside of the prayers he says with me before I head into a procedure (which I never really pray because I am normally a bit emotional before going in or under,) in a while and we have had a lot of “new” in our lives lately. New orthopedic doctor for my hip, new challenges as he seeks to take care of me, new challenges as I learn to adjust to having someone take care of me, new careers- Jared just got a new full time job a couple weeks ago, new schedules to work around because he is working full time and I still have appointments and a life as well, a new church we started worshipping at-there is just a lot of new, and we came to the realization that we haven’t spent time together with God because we have been “too busy” dealing with all of the new things in our lives. I love the quote that tells you to start replacing “I can’t” with “it’s not a priority,” that is the quote that keeps coming to my mind.
There is a great importance in spending time with God individually, but there is also great power in spending time with God together. We know from Matthew 18:20, “For where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them,” and yes we need time alone with God, but as a couple preparing for marriage- we need to spend time with Him together as well. So back to my story about a couple nights ago, we were praying and just in His presence and after I finished praying, Jared started praying and in his prayer- he asked for patience. Everything in me started to groan. Patience. We all know what happens when you pray for patience… you get opportunities to be patient. I stopped praying for patience a long time ago, funny story just a couple days ago I legitimately wrote down that I wanted to ask for patience…. then erased it and wrote down that I asked for understanding and wisdom. Maybe I asked for the same thing, but it was just the point of it. Here was what shocked me when I asked Jared why he would pray for patience, and with so much love he said, “You know what, maybe we need some more patience right now. Would it really be the worst thing?” My mind was blown. Why didn’t I think of it like that. I have been missing an opportunity of self growth for YEARS. I think sometimes we forget that we have to always be learning, even in ways where we don’t want too.
I think patience gets such a negative stigma because as spoonies, we are sick of being patient and put in situations that require tons of patience. More often than not I would like to think I wear a badge of patience… until I can’t do anything for myself. I have always thought that I must be super patient because of everything that I have gone through, but patience is a choice. It is not an experience and it is not based on what you have gone through, it is a choice. I am not saying that from here on out I will be super patient or that I am patient. What I am saying is that I am going to try to look for opportunities to be patient and hopefully act with patience. I am pretty stubborn and like most “millennials” would rather not wait for anything, but as Jared said, “would patience really be the worst thing?” Of course not long after he flipped my thoughts around about asking for patience, I reminded him that he needs to remember this when I am frustrating him, and for me likewise.
Patience isn’t about it waiting, it’s about the attitude we wait with. What attitude will you wait with today?